I was walking home one beautiful mild winter afternoon recently up Michigan Avenue and I walked past a spot in Millennial Park where I got a flash of me from the past, very overweight, and tired laying on the grass under a tree, trying to take a little nap on my lunch hour. I had been very tired from a radiation treatment I had had that morning to treat my early stage Breast cancer called DCIS, now over three years back. I just couldn’t make it through the whole day without a nap. It was a wonderful summer day, so I took a walk to the park and laid on some grass and closed my eyes. I realized at that moment, if I was to get through this treatment, I would need to be able to go home during the day and take a nap or work from home. I needed to speak up for myself.
Why I’m telling this story, is because it struck me the pure fortitude and strength it took that version of my former self to power through 8 weeks of 5 days a week radiation treatments alone, burns and exhaustion. It took about six months to feel like myself again, and a year to get mobility back in my shoulder and during the treatments is when I started my weight loss program on top of it all. Breast cancer was my wake up call. I needed to decide if I choose to power through this, what will be the outcome? I never wanted to be here again ever. I also realized, I love that woman, that Carolyn for her strength of character, to go through treatments alone everyday, to keep her job, to laugh, to smile, to play, to work, to learn, to heal and to embrace life in the same full on way I always have.
I had a dream that I would start experiencing life differently immediately. That I would find a new job, and I did. That I would lose all the weight and I did, that I would put myself first and not put my needs aside, that I would stop giving into my need to soothe with food and I would take control of my life. I was not a victim. I was a person who was a fighter and a survivor. No more excuses. I had a story yes, but I could not let this story continue to make me a victim in my own life. It was time to stop. The love I had in that moment for that Carolyn overwhelmed me, and I visualized her, hugged her and thanked that past me for being so strong so I could be here, on the other side of DCIS with perfect health, strength and vitality.
Dreams and Reality are they really part of the same thing? I say YES! Call me crazy but they are. See what you dream does become reality, when you take consistent deliberate action to make your dreams happen. By formulating a thought, creating steps to get there, even if they are one tiny move in the direction of your dream, well you are on your way to creating your reality and your dreams manifested. If you are resisting the present, you continue to experience the very thing you are resisting. The key is to accept the present, be there – all parts of you; then create your new dream from the reality of the present. Not based on the illusion of what you hope it would have been, but what it actually is truthfully. You cannot create from a weak foundation. You must be grounded in your body, in your present life. Start from there. The Universe works with you to give you exactly what you want to experience. What you create is your choice. We cannot control others; we can only create our own experiences and reactions to those situations and people.
So in my monitoring of my mind, I came home on Friday night, sad that a deal fell through, that I was coming home to an empty apartment, and well feeling in general tired and beat up from the week. I wanted to plop down on the couch, have some wine and ice cream, and feel sorry for myself. However, I decided to shift that form of thinking and created a different reality. I understood that those actions would not get me closer to my goals for my business or the lifestyle of freedom I am creating. So I asked myself “What step or steps, I could take tonight to get me the right direction if not to further my business or my life goals?” My decision was to connect and respond to some Facebook people as to interact with others, I also caught up on a training class I am taking, and finished the Q&A homework. I ate dinner on my food plan and had tea with honey instead of wine. I went to bed on Friday night feeling a sense of accomplishment instead of guilt. There was no telling myself “I’ll start tomorrow.” I started in the present moment. I stared right away. I finally got it! It really hit me! I realized I have come so far from that beautiful survivor of the past who loved to dull all that tremendous pain she was in with soothing Ice cream and wine. I love her for getting us through some very very tough times, to emerge a beautiful, fun loving woman who is here to serve others.
So in your mind, if you are wondering “How is that going to work out?” for a particular dream you have. Or the thoughts: “How am I going to get there? How am I going to find the money to pay for that? How will I lose the weight? Nothing has worked! How will I survive this?” See it is not in the how, it is the desire. You know you desire X and you are not sure how you will get to X. You just know you want it. So then what happens?
For me, I ask God. I ask God, the Universe and those that Guide me from above to lead me in the “How.” I cannot see the big picture from down here, but I can ask for help. I can then say “Yes!” with no excuses to the amazing opportunities and people that magically show up to support me in creating my very dreams. The Universe will always show up to support you. Always. Say “Yes” to you! I dare you. You will be amazed at your own creation! Let me know what you come up with because I would love to hear your desires for your life.
Love & blessings,
Carolyn
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